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Why I’m Just Not Good at Showers (Err…not that kind)

If I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I am not good at, well… let’s just say it would be long. However, I know without a doubt what would be at the very tip, top of that list: Throwing/Attending Showers of any sort. 
As a female, and more importantly as a female of the American South, people just assume that I live for showers where I get to sit around with other women and “ohh” and “ahh” over gifts. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, when I got married, I flat out refused to have any bridal showers hosted in my honor. Refused. Why? Well, Adam and I were already living together. We had all the essentials we needed. Could I have registered for better place settings and cookware? Yeah. Did I? Absolutely not. The mere thought of sitting in a room full of women and opening up tupperware almost caused me physical pain so I opted out. Of course, I’ve attended the bridal showers for friends and family members over the years, but I can say with certainty that I never look forward to these events. They are brutal necessities required to maintain favor with society — kind of like going to the dentist. 
I’m slightly better at attending baby showers… especially for someone’s first kid. Granted, I still get slightly uncomfortable. (Psst! I mean, the kid is “technically” in the room. How awkward!) But, I do see the value of a group of people coming together to shower a family with all the things they might need to raise their newest addition. After all, it makes a lot more sense for a lot of people to spend $50 rather than for one couple to spend thousands. Perhaps that’s why, even though I still find them to be somewhat awkward and forced, I don’t necessarily dread baby showers in quite the same way as bridal showers. 
As you might remember from this post, I’m actually hosting a baby shower soon for a friend — as in, THIS weekend. To say that I’m flipping out a bit might be an understatement. Technically, I’m just in charge of providing the location (#florkenfirsthome) and the food. Thankfully, someone else is in charge of decorations and games. Still, as I put my list together this week of all the things that need to be done by 1 p.m. on Saturday, I feel like a fish out of water. I’m just not sure I have the “hosting” gene that most Southern women seem born with. 
So I’m planning my cucumber sandwiches, fresh hummus dip, and vegetarian pinwheels, and keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t completely screw this entire thing up. I feel like there is a LOT of pressure because the mom-to-be always takes a picture in front of the food table. Eek! That means that what I manage to piece together between now and Saturday will live on forever in photographs in some kid’s baby book. Geesh! That is pressure I just don’t need. 
So please excuse me while I go figure out what you call those serving pitchers with little spouts at the bottom. I think I’ll need a few to serve drinks to serve in those. Water perhaps? Maybe lemonade? Are these acceptable baby shower drinks!? Man, they really should offer crash courses on these things at some point in life… especially for the non-shower savvy gals like myself.

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