categorically kate

Tag: have fun

  • Why I’m Just Not Good at Showers (Err…not that kind)

    Why I’m Just Not Good at Showers (Err…not that kind)

    If I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I am not good at, well… let’s just say it would be long. However, I know without a doubt what would be at the very tip, top of that list: Throwing/Attending Showers of any sort. 
    As a female, and more importantly as a female of the American South, people just assume that I live for showers where I get to sit around with other women and “ohh” and “ahh” over gifts. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, when I got married, I flat out refused to have any bridal showers hosted in my honor. Refused. Why? Well, Adam and I were already living together. We had all the essentials we needed. Could I have registered for better place settings and cookware? Yeah. Did I? Absolutely not. The mere thought of sitting in a room full of women and opening up tupperware almost caused me physical pain so I opted out. Of course, I’ve attended the bridal showers for friends and family members over the years, but I can say with certainty that I never look forward to these events. They are brutal necessities required to maintain favor with society — kind of like going to the dentist. 
    I’m slightly better at attending baby showers… especially for someone’s first kid. Granted, I still get slightly uncomfortable. (Psst! I mean, the kid is “technically” in the room. How awkward!) But, I do see the value of a group of people coming together to shower a family with all the things they might need to raise their newest addition. After all, it makes a lot more sense for a lot of people to spend $50 rather than for one couple to spend thousands. Perhaps that’s why, even though I still find them to be somewhat awkward and forced, I don’t necessarily dread baby showers in quite the same way as bridal showers. 
    As you might remember from this post, I’m actually hosting a baby shower soon for a friend — as in, THIS weekend. To say that I’m flipping out a bit might be an understatement. Technically, I’m just in charge of providing the location (#florkenfirsthome) and the food. Thankfully, someone else is in charge of decorations and games. Still, as I put my list together this week of all the things that need to be done by 1 p.m. on Saturday, I feel like a fish out of water. I’m just not sure I have the “hosting” gene that most Southern women seem born with. 
    So I’m planning my cucumber sandwiches, fresh hummus dip, and vegetarian pinwheels, and keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t completely screw this entire thing up. I feel like there is a LOT of pressure because the mom-to-be always takes a picture in front of the food table. Eek! That means that what I manage to piece together between now and Saturday will live on forever in photographs in some kid’s baby book. Geesh! That is pressure I just don’t need. 
    So please excuse me while I go figure out what you call those serving pitchers with little spouts at the bottom. I think I’ll need a few to serve drinks to serve in those. Water perhaps? Maybe lemonade? Are these acceptable baby shower drinks!? Man, they really should offer crash courses on these things at some point in life… especially for the non-shower savvy gals like myself.

  • In need of an adventure…

    In need of an adventure…

    I am in desperate need of an adventure. 
    I’m probably dealing with a bit of irregular post-miscarriage emotions, but I feel like I need to throw caution to the wind and do something a bit wild. I’m going a bit stir crazy in my daily routine. The funny thing is, there hasn’t even been much of a daily routine lately. When you work in an office environment like I do, the holidays throw everything off. This week is my first “full” week in the office in about a month. But still, I feel stifled. 
    It’s not that I’m not grateful for my comfortable life or the opportunities it gives me. I am. Deeply. Truly. But I also feel as if I’m missing something grand by sitting at my desk 9+ hours each day and then going home to workout/eat dinner/watch Netflix. 

    Lately, I find myself staring at our savings account online and trying to rationalize my crazy thoughts. I want to just withdraw a few grand, book a flight for Adam and I, and jet off to Oregon like we had planned to do last October. I want to leave the office behind entirely, leave the daily worries and stresses, and just have an adventure. I want to taste amazing wines and sip dark teas in a little nook of a remote cafe somewhere. I want to dip my toe into the freezing Pacific ocean and run my fingers over smooth beach pebbles. I want to go on a hike (which is sooooo not like me) and breathe in the smells of a forrest on a crisp day. I want to explore. I want to laugh. I want to feel.

    But then I think of all the reasons that grand adventure can’t occur just now. Adam will be starting his new job in a matter of weeks and vacation time won’t be allowed for quite awhile. We need to keep adding to that savings account so that Adam can get a new car soon to replace his 15+ year old clunker. We have tons of household projects and bills that could really use the money as well. In short, there isn’t time or money for the adventure I feel my soul so desperately needs.
    But maybe I can find a piece of adventure closer to home to tide me over for a bit. Perhaps this coming weekend I can take a hike nearby and finish the day sipping hot tea in a local cafe. Maybe I’ll break the monotony of my days by cutting out of the office for a mid-afternoon shopping break or drinks with a friend. If I can’t go to have an adventure somewhere, I have to get out of this rut by creating my own adventure here at home.

    So who’s with me? Let’s make our own adventure…

  • Why We Aren’t Buying Gifts this Christmas

    We aren’t doing Christmas gifts this year and I refuse to feel guilty about it. In fact, I feel liberated. Our anti-Christmas gift stance actually arose for a variety of reasons. 
    First of all, last year was a super expensive pain in our butts. We tried to be very reasonable. We did. We set a budget of around $25-$40 a person. But between my family, Adam’s family, and a few of our closest friends, we easily exceeded the $500 without blinking an eye. And that didn’t even include gifts for each other! Because costs added up so fast, I found myself constantly worried about expenses. Sure, we could load $300 worth of gifts in the car but we might not be able to afford gas for the trip to visit the people who they belong too. So basically, it was just too much money. That’s the reason that nearly everyone (who doesn’t have limitless funds) can relate to.
    Second, gifts had gotten too competitive. Instead of feeling great about picking up a great gift that really reminded me of someone, I was worried about the gift being either too big or too small. Family members were constantly calling to ask what “else” we wanted because they had exceeded a budget for one person meaning that in turn, our own budget was going to increased out of guilt. (What?!) Gift exchanges became a type of competition for who could give the gift that would get the best reception. And of course, when a gift didn’t get that a warm reception or if there weren’t enough “ooohs” and “ahhhs”, suddenly, feelings were hurt. So basically, it was just too many hurt feelings waiting to happen.
    Third, gifts had really lost the meaning of the season. To me, Christmas will always be, in part, about childlike innocence. I can vividly recall insisting I saw Santa’s sleigh fly over our house. I remember waking up early and running outside to see if Santa’s reindeer had eaten the “reindeer food” my third grade teacher handed out. (It was birdseed fyi. In case you were curious.)I fondly recall baking cookies to set out for Santa and willing myself to fall asleep so that all the magic could begin. Those Christmas memories are golden. But as of late, Christmas became 8+ adults sitting around a room opening gifts in turn. There were no special baked cookies for Santa, no reindeer food, and no sleigh sightings. Without the gift of seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes, it seemed silly to sit around and exchange gift cards of equal value. So basically, without a sense of childlike wonderment, Christmas gifts just fell flat for me.
    Finally, Adam graduates this December with his PhD. While I’m over the moon excited for him, it also means that his job at the university is over. Soon, Adam will be on the hunt for something else to keep him busy from 8-5 and provide income for our family. With so many unknown factors, it didn’t seem practical to spend a lot of time and effort on gift giving. So basically, we had bigger fish to fry and gifting just didn’t make the cut.
    I have to say, as sad as it was to break the news to our families that we weren’t doing gifts this year, I feel so good about our decision. Adam and I are going to be able to stick money back into our savings account in December to help prepare for the unknown future after his graduation. We also don’t have to fight crowds and lines or stress over budgets and lists. I’m looking forward to a Christmas holiday spent, as I think they should be — focused on what really matters. What really matters to us, isn’t gifts under the treat or stuffed stockings. For us, what matters is time with people that we love, creating memories and laughs that carry us through darker times. 
    So this year, Adam and I will watch Christmas movies, sing Christmas carols, eat way too much delicious food, and sip hot beverages in front of fireplaces with those we love. But we’ll do all of it without gifts under our tree. And you know, that doesn’t bother me one little bit.
    Would you ever consider a giftless Christmas?