Follow me:
Browsing Category

find peace

  • A Very Normal Christmas

    Perhaps 2018 was my last ‘normal’ Christmas. My daughter was 3 that year. We baked cookies. We sat out the empty bag for Santa. I rocked her to sleep. Santa brought her a dollhouse – custom painted to look like OUR house. Funny how talented that Santa bloke is. I made my from-scratch cinnamon rolls the next morning and ate them with my husband as we watched our daughter delight in the general merriment.

    In contrast, 2019 was anything but normal. My husband had left me in July, so we split our daughter’s Christmas day in two King Solomon style. He handed me a bottle of red in a holiday bag when he picked her up at noon. I was bitter and hurt so I refused the gesture, closed the door behind them, and cried.

    begin again, find peace, laugh more, love hard
    / December 26, 2023
  • Languishing

    But its clear now that I have tried to make a permanent home out of this temporary situation and like a Bear awakening in the Spring, I realize my Languishing Cave cannot sustain me much longer. If I stay, I will eventually starve. My carefully constructed refuge now only offers the illusion of safety. Lingering here too long will bring about my own ruin. And I know it.
    And yet…

    begin again, find peace, give a damn, laugh more, live easy, love hard
    / April 6, 2023
  • Before 35

    My annual 40-by-40 update is officially six days overdue; I haven’t even started it. It is forthcoming, but considering I…

    begin again, find peace
    / October 24, 2022