I am fairly certain that 90% of non-mommy bloggers either have this post already published on their blog or it is waiting its turn in drafts… So here goes nothing!

Here’s the thing, I will be 28 in October. Some days, the struggle to keep my ovaries calm is for real yo. I mean it. I have to pass by the park every single day coming home from work … and let me tell you! Whew! The sight of those kids swinging and squealing as they come down the slide just really makes me want to act rashly. But then I have moments when I understand that I am simply not ready.

For example, yesterday my sister and my brother-in-law dropped by our house in Little Rock on their way back home to Texas from visiting a friend in Nashville. (That was a lot of locations in one sentence!) That meant that Adam and I got to see our niece, Lizzie, for the first time in nearly 3 months! I was STOKED. She is walking now and it was so amazing to hold her, chase her, play with her, hug her, tease her, and feed her. I ate up every last second. She is too cute for words and holding her, this child that I love so much, I get really excited about loving something that is a part of me and a part of Adam… the miracle of biology and the like.

You know — there are a million reasons why I probably shouldn’t have children at this very second. You know them because they are the exact same reason that every blogger puts in post like these… The lack of booze and sleep. The fear about losing their body. The idea of being so responsible. The fact they like having their husband all to themselves at the moment. All of those reasons apply to me as well. (Oh, and before spending money on baby, perhaps I should make sure that all the rooms in our new home have furniture!) The list really goes on and on…

But after being with little Lizzie for almost 2 hours, a whole new reason hit me… I just can’t keep up. I was seriously exhausted after she left. Once those little suckers learn to use their legs you have to constantly be on guard to make sure they don’t get into crap. I didn’t realize the peril that they can so easily get into…

Lizzie was tugging on the lamp’s electrical cord, falling down on the tile floor, tugging at the dog’s tail, crawling off towards the bathroom, tearing up the blinds. At every turn I just kept thinking about how fragile, yet resilient, she is right now. While she made me laugh, it also terrified me. I don’t know how anyone can keep up with the kid and parents have to do it on less sleep than us Aunts and Uncles who only get a small taste of it. Yes. That’s a BIG reason why I am just not ready to be a mom quite yet.

My heart might swoon when I see Adam holding our Lizzie. But for a bit longer, I will have to tell my ovaries to chill. It’s just not time… yet.