As of late, there is a voice inside my head that I can’t drown out…
It reminds me constantly that we only get so many years in this world. We must make decisions as to how we will spend those years — building homes? making families? earning promotions? getting raises? watching Netflix? taking naps? building dreams?
Yes. Lately, I want to build my own dreams.
I don’t know what those dreams are quite yet, but I do know what they will involve.
More time with Adam.
More time on this blog.
More time writing.
More time at home.
Less unnecessary stress.
Less feeling out of control.
Less working on someone else’s dreams.
Less fears of failure.
It is almost as if I am standing at the base of a mountain. I’ve been scared to climb it for too long because I don’t know what the other side looks like. Is it a plentiful valley that will be a source of happiness? Or is it a deep gorge with little provisions for a happy life?
For years, I have worked on a path on this side of the mountain because it was the side I could see. It wasn’t always the place that I truly desired to be, but it seemed safe enough and well honestly, it was easier to dream about what could potentially lie on the other side of the mountain than to actually climb the damn thing.
But you know, this side of the mountain isn’t as comfortable as it used to be. In fact, looking around, I get a little scared about spending the rest of my life here. It isn’t like this side won’t provide for me — it will. But will it truly fulfill me? I have my doubts…
It scares me to even consider leaving my safe side of the mountain and starting a climb into the unknown. Hell — even making plans for the climb makes my heart race. But I’m starting to wonder if it is racing in a good way. Because maybe, just maybe, if I finally get the guts to climb this thing, I’ll discover that something more amazing than anything I ever could have imagined was right on the other side waiting for me this entire time…
And wouldn’t that be wonderful?