|I recently got to meet up with a fellow tribe mom, Stacy, for shopping and margaritas!|
So what is a woman to do when she needs a full-time but low maintenance tribe?
Prior to becoming a mother, motherhood scared me. I was never one to seek out babies and the look on my face when someone asked if I wanted to babysit their small child probably gave away my abject terror. So when I was pregnant, I knew that I needed to find like minded women to help assure me that I would somehow survive and that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t screw it all up completely. I went in search of these women and much to my surprise, I met them online.
Let me just say this — an online tribe is a godsend for adult friendships!
My tribe is always at my fingertips. We chat on Facebook and through an app called GroupMe. Our children are all roughly the same age so we share stories and trade mothering secrets and techniques. We often complain about long work days or jokingly plot about places to bury the bodies of annoying spouses. We ask for advice and we give reassurance on everything from teething to fashion to politics. We come from all different walks of life and live in all different corners of the US and Canada. Some of us have more than one kid. Some of us are divorced. Some of us work full-time. Some of us are stay at home moms. Our uniting thread is the fact that we all sought out our tribe and that we all continue to come back to care and support one another regardless of our differences.
As the holiday approach, we are exchanging Christmas cards and gifts and planning future meetups. Some of us have already gotten together in real life and all of those have been fun. But when you have an online tribe — meetups are only a small part of the overall picture. You see, our friendships were formed and built online. So, while never meeting face to face isn’t ideal, it also doesn’t kill the friendships. The friendships thrive on so little effort and as a busy adult, that is so freeing.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have “real life” friends or that they shouldn’t try to make an “effort” in their friendships. They should. I do. But with my “real life” friends, going long periods of time without seeing each other face to face often feels like defeat. It is disheartening and when we do ultimately get together, we end up putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to do it again.. and SOONER this time.
With my online tribe that kind of pressure just doesn’t exist. They are always there for me without any guilt-ridden aftertaste. I can turn to them when my day is slow and share baby pictures or I chat with them for hours about the West World season finale. Really, the only downside of having an online tribe is having to admit to “real life” people that some of your best friends “live in” your phone or computer. But that is a fact for me now — 26 of my best friends are badass moms who I have never met in person. They are funny. They are sarcastic. They are passionate. They are kind. They are supportive. They are all different. And most importantly, they are all my Tribe.
So when being an adult and having adult friendships becomes hard, I would always recommend finding an online tribe and loving them hard.
10/10… would online Tribe again! (<— A little Tribe humor)