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Why I haven’t posted…

It has been quiet around these parts lately. A part of me feels like I should apologize for that, but I won’t. I’ve honestly needed some time for myself. I’ve needed time away to think… to cry… to unplug.
I know that I am still healing from my December miscarriage. I’ve learned to accept the fact that in a way, I will always be healing. I’ve also learned to accept the fact that no one, except someone who has gone through a similar loss, will fully understand how I’ve been feeling. Sadly, that means that even Adam — my other half, my favorite person in the whole world — just doesn’t quite understand it. 
I haven’t blogged because I’m not sure what I have to say.
To talk about it seems redundant, hurtful, and unnecessary.
To not blog about it seems disingenuous.
To blog about a household project or a date night with Adam seems frivolous and silly. 
In truth, life has gone on somewhat normally. I still wake up and go to work. Adam and I still have date nights and we continue to work on #FlorkenFirstHome. We sometimes hang out with friends. We still laugh, and yes… I still cry.

Some days have been good. Others have bordered on great.
But then, a hard day will come along and drag me down to the depths of despair I felt when it all began.

In truth, I haven’t completely sorted out my emotional state at the moment and I feel like perhaps that is best done quietly. At home. With Adam.

In short, I’m not saying goodbye to blogging. I’m just saying that I still need some time. One day, hopefully soon, I’ll wake up with a post that seems too genuine not to share. And somehow, despite my shifting moods or my sadness, I’ll feel compelled to come back to this space I love and share it with you all. When that happens, it will be a big step forward for me. I’m honestly looking forward to it.

So here’s to moving forward… eventually. 

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29 Comments

  • Reply Amberly

    Still praying for you and thinking about you friend!!

    February 4, 2015 at 5:16 pm
  • Reply Alexes Eide

    Thinking about you!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

    February 4, 2015 at 5:23 pm
  • Reply Melissa Camacho

    thoughts and prayers for you and Adam. it's a tough thing to recover from, and you're right… no one needs an explanation of your absence. I pray that y'all continue to gain strength and love from this. Sending thoughts and prayers and hugs your way

    February 4, 2015 at 7:34 pm
  • Reply Mallory Hermann

    I know this is hard and it is such a lonely feeling but know we are thinking about you and praying for you. Take care of yourself and take your time healing.

    February 4, 2015 at 7:40 pm
  • Reply Lisa @ Two Martinis

    Thinking of you and praying you continue to find comfort. <3

    February 4, 2015 at 7:51 pm
  • Reply Meagan

    Take as much time as you need. Sending you love and hoping you find some comfort.

    February 4, 2015 at 7:55 pm
  • Reply chelsea @ the new wifestyle

    thinking of you and glad you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself!

    February 4, 2015 at 7:55 pm
  • Reply The Grits Blog

    Take all the time you need. I know how you feel and just know that it does get easier with time and that sometimes it comes in waves that eventually get farther and farther apart.

    February 4, 2015 at 7:56 pm
  • Reply Becca @ Becoming Adorrable

    Take all the time you need, Kate! Everyone grieves differently. I'll be thinking of you.

    February 4, 2015 at 8:56 pm
  • Reply The Jessa Olson Blog

    Take your time. I am always for you.

    February 4, 2015 at 9:23 pm
  • Reply Sarah

    Many prayers friend. Take your time and we'll be here when you're ready to come back.

    February 4, 2015 at 9:49 pm
  • Reply Brooke @ Silver Lining

    Thinking about you sweet friend! Taking time for yourself is so important after a loss.

    February 4, 2015 at 10:03 pm
  • Reply Stephanie Loudmouth

    Take all the time you need. I hope you don't mind me suggesting, but maybe you could find a therapist that specializes in this sort of thing. I've had bouts of depression myself, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. We're here for you.

    February 4, 2015 at 10:04 pm
  • Reply Kari | The Kari Diaries

    Healing takes time. Thinking of you, dear <3

    February 5, 2015 at 2:15 am
  • Reply Anonymous

    Sorry for the loss. Take as much time as you need to heal.

    February 5, 2015 at 2:50 am
  • Reply Shane Prather

    Prayers for you sweetie <3

    February 5, 2015 at 7:41 am
  • Reply Lani Cox

    It's good of you to be honest and take time away. Esp in a world where there is the tendency and pressure to over-share. Be private because that's the world we lived in before social media and take care of you. Hugs from Thailand.

    February 5, 2015 at 8:34 am
  • Reply Whitney @ Southern Hope

    Hugs sweet girl, only hugs.

    February 5, 2015 at 3:38 pm
  • Reply Katie @ A Beautiful Little Adventure.com

    Thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

    February 5, 2015 at 7:21 pm
  • Reply Blush and Barbells

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

    February 5, 2015 at 7:48 pm
  • Reply The Siberian American

    Thinking of you <3

    February 5, 2015 at 10:11 pm
  • Reply Kay R.

    Dont apologize for you absence. Do what you need to do. My thoughts are with you <3

    February 6, 2015 at 12:42 pm
  • Reply Amanda Nicole

    No apologies needed. You and your health (mental and physical) come first! Still praying and thinking of you,

    February 6, 2015 at 7:00 pm
  • Reply Nicole Marica

    take all the time you need…my "d day" was yesterday and I thought I'd be okay but I wasn't. Like I said before, it gets better over time but you'll still have rough days. keep your head up and know that you are not alone. *big hugs*

    February 8, 2015 at 2:05 am
  • Reply jackie jade

    so sorry that you are going through this and take all the time you need. if blogging helps, do it. and if not, then don't. your number one priority is taking care of yourself. hope you continue to heal and feel better.

    February 10, 2015 at 1:46 am
  • Reply Amanda

    You are absolutely right – no one can understand what this is like unless they've experienced the loss themselves. Ours happened in November of last year and I just got up the courage to share what we've been going through this week. I agree with Jackie – if it helps to write/blog, do it. It not, do what you need to do to heal. Praying for comfort and strength!

    February 11, 2015 at 5:11 pm
  • Reply Jenn, hellorigby.com

    Sending lots of hugs and love your way! <3

    February 12, 2015 at 3:07 am
  • Reply ANNIE M

    No apologies are needed, you need time & that's perfectly fine! I miss your blog posts, but I shall patiently await your return! Lots of love & hugs your way 🙂

    February 13, 2015 at 5:22 am
  • Reply Kelly

    I will be here when you get back and you both are in my prayers!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

    February 15, 2015 at 3:01 am
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